About the Bitches • Bitches Get Riches

Hi! This is us:

You’re probably wondering how we got here. And by “here” we mean “so fantastically wealthy we eat Benjamins for breakfast.” Well we’ll tell you!

What is Bitches Get Riches?

Bitches Get Riches is a survival resource for life in a patriarchal capitalist hellscape. Through our award-winning blog and podcast, we impart funny lessons about the adulting skills we were never taught, yet mysteriously expected to know. Our goal is to help others get good at their finances, careers, and personal lives. And we want to do it without being boring, condescending sell-outs.

Think of Bitches Get Riches as a beautiful test tube baby. The ovum was harvested from the life experience of two financially solvent feminist killjoys. But the sperm is just a writhing mass of capitalist bullshit. Though not our first choice of donor, we are raising this baby with all the dedication and ferocity of Lisa Banes’s character in the classic Lifetime thriller Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

BGR is run by Piggy and Kitty, two sexy yet reclusive geniuses. Some people wonder which of us is the Bebop, and which one’s the Rocksteady. But that question is an illusion! For we are both Krangs.

Our blood is full of fire; our guts are full of misandrist rage; our eyeballs are full of RuPaul’s Drag Race gifs; our hearts are full of love; and our wallets cry out for restorative justice but will settle for regular old vengeance.
– The Bitches

Who are the Bitches?

Meet Kitty, aka L. Torres

Title: Co-Bitch, Chief Brand Officer

Day Job: NONE HAHAHAHAHA

Myers-Briggs: ENTJ

Hogwarts House: Slytherin (Gryffindor secondary)

Areas of Expertise: Sailor Moon, how great horses are

Personal Heroes: Malcolm X, Skeletor

Career Goal: Hateful old crone

Kitty was born in the American Midwest, but was voted off in season seventeen. Her wan complexion, intellectual elitism, and gay haircut are all way more welcome in New England, so she lives there now. She shares her life with her partner and fourteen pets because she does. not. do. half. measures.

Being broke and jobless awakened her interest in personal finance. Eventually she scammed her way into corporate America, which is where the suckers who give out paychecks and laptops live. When caught spacing out in a meeting, she likes to say “But will it scale?” and it works every time. No one suspects a thing.

Her intensity and her laziness are turnt to eleven. All other attributes are like, y’know, threes? She wanted to retire early because she just didn’t want any more goddamned emails. Her big plan is to live in the woods and do grandma things: read, garden, dote on pets, bake bread, not know who contemporary musicians are, back her car into trees…

Meet Piggy, aka Jess Fickett

Title: Co-Bitch, Chief Content Officer

Day Job: Managing editor at a financial media company

Myers-Briggs: INTJ

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw (Hufflepuff secondary)

Areas of Expertise: Zombies, female singer-songwriters of the 1990s, every imaginable use for parmesan cheese

Personal Heroes: Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Leslie Knope

Career Goal: Freelance firer of bad bosses

Since the day she was born, Piggy has lived by the words, “No me digas qué hacer, tú no eras mi mamá!” The daughter of two army veterans, she settled in a rural New England town at age ten and decided that’s where she would “be from.” She now lives with her spouse, The Worst Dog, and a rotating cast of refugees from the Island of Misfit Toys somewhere Out West.

Piggy has devoted her entire education and career (completely against the advice of much wiser people) to the craft and business of book publishing. Almost a decade in, she’s now the sloppily drunk lifer at industry mixers advising all the interns to learn coding before it’s too late. But mostly she just enjoys rejecting manuscripts. And lording her secret knowledge of dangling participles over the rest of you plebeians.

The granddaughter of Italian immigrants, she is a natural born nurturer. She will yell at you if you’re not taking good care of yourself and eating enough. She enjoys gardening, rock climbing, obsessing over science fiction, and playing Chris Dane Owens’s “Shine On Me” on the guitar.

As seen/heard in…

Have we failed to adequately convey our sparkling legitimacy? Apologies, my lord…

*Aspirational, or “a lie” if you’re feeling judgmental. Why you gotta be like that?

Where else you can find us

Two faces made for radio

Check out the BGR podcast, available wherever fine podcasts are streamed. In every episode, we answer a question from a listener in under 30 minutes—which is more time than you want to spend on the treadmill anyway. You can submit podcast questions here or through our Patreon.

We’re even less cute on YouTube

Watch our real faces on the BGR YouTube channel and you’ll run screaming back to the podcast. Tune in periodically for live streams, life lessons, and life imitating art.

Hire us for your event

We would love to appear at your in-person or virtual event. Get in touch to discuss how we can work together on a speech, workshop, panel discussion, or personal consultation.