The Bitch List was last updated in August of 2022.
We, your humble Bitches, are influencers. Taste makers. Trend setters. The Cool Kids™. We recognize that our opinions and whims are highly valued by Internet citizenry, which is why we’ve drawn together a list of a few of our favorite things, along with some super valuable resources. These represent our very favorite blogs, podcasts, social media follows, and financial tools.
You’re fucking welcome.
Acorns
Acorns is a micro-investing app for helpless babies. It’s a great option for beginning investors and anyone having a hard time saving because it’s automatic and totally effortless.
Here’s how she works:
- Sign up for Acorns. It takes less than five minutes.
- Link your credit and/or debit card to Acorns.
- Every time you make a purchase, Acorns will round it up to the nearest dollar and not only save the difference for you, but invest it in the stock market.
That’s literally it! Go about your business, blissfully saving your littlest savings—and earning interest on them—without lifting a finger.
Acorns is our oldest affiliate, and we dig them with a real big shovel. We’ve spent years telling you guys to use Acorns for free. So now we’re letting them pay us. I’ve personally been using Acorns to save and invest my little savings for years now, and it is well worth the $1 a month fee.
Capitalize
Capitalize is an amazing service that helps you rollover your 401k. And they do it all quickly, kindly, painlessly… and it’s 100% FREE!
They handle the paperwork, the phone calls, the scheduling, the faxes, mailing checks, and getting everything professionally notarized. If you don’t yet have an account to roll your old 401k over into, not to worry! Capitalize will help you find and open an account too. And they’ll walk you through the benefits of each of your potential new accounts to make sure you choose the financial institution that best suits your needs.
- Go to Capitalize and fill in some basic info.
- Choose a time for a quick phone call with a gentle, loving Capitalize rep to answer some simple questions on the phone.
- Sign a couple electronic documents, then sit back and let Capitalize do all the work.
- In a few days, Capitalize will send the money into the rollover account of your choice.
Capitalize will handle your 401k rollover entirely for free. It costs you zero dollars, which is my favorite price. If you owe any taxes on the rollover (not common if you’re rolling over to an account like a Roth IRA that has the same tax structure), they’ll show you how to pay. But in general, no money should leave your pockets during this process with Capitalize. They don’t make their money on individual customers. Instead, they are paid a commission by financial institutions when one of their customers opens a new rollover account. Win-win!