Season 3, Episode 9: "My Partner and I Want Kids in a Few Years. How Do We Financially Prepare for a Baby?"

Season 3, Episode 9: “My Partner and I Want Kids in a Few Years. How Do We Financially Prepare for a Baby?”

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 2 Comments

Dear readers, as you know, your humble Bitches are what’s known as “parenting experts.” We’ve spent literally decades observing and critically judging the childrearing of others. And we’ve done it all without sullying our hands by actually becoming parents ourselves! So when it comes to the topic of how to financially prepare for a baby… you know you can trust us.

Believe it or not, we childfree hags received more than one question about financially preparing for parenthood. And while we’ve answered questions about how to get ready to buy a house or go to college before… we’ve never touched this one’s diaper-rashy bottom.

But how hard can it be?

Having kids is one of the most financially significant decisions in a person’s life! Not only are kids expensive, but the decision affects people differently depending on their gender, sexuality, and access to medical care, childcare, and educational resources.

At the very least, you or your co-parent (if you have one) will need to maneuver into a job with solid health insurance benefits and parental leave. But the preparatory headache doesn’t stop there! So let’s dive into it, shall we?

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How to Start Small by Saving Small

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 9 Comments

“If you don’t start saving your money when you’re young, you’re going to die impoverished, overworked, and alone!” says every personal finance guru ever to young people just starting out in the world.

And while it’s only a slight exaggeration, this kind of enormous pressure can be overwhelming and demoralizing when you’re just starting to get your financial life under control and barely bringing in enough money to make ends meet.

So what’s a young, financially inexperienced person to do? What’s anyone with bills and debt to do with the specter of an empty savings account looming and no solution in sight?

The answer, as with most personal finance, is to start small. Because when saving, your little savings really do add up.

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Season 3, Episode 8: "Should I Get Married for Tax Purposes? My Boyfriend Swears We’d Save Money, but I’m Not So Sure..."

Season 3, Episode 8: “Should I Get Married for Tax Purposes? My Boyfriend Swears We’d Save Money, but I’m Not So Sure…”

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 6 Comments

Ah, taxes! Second only to gas prices in the list of things we Americans like to blame for our money woes. Also: hella romantic!

That’s right, Bitch Nation, for today on the podcast we’re discussing the intersection of love and taxes. Specifically, the question of whether you should get married for tax purposes.

Popular wisdom dictates that getting married and filing taxes jointly will give you a huge discount on your tax bill. We’ve heard worse reasons to get married. But is this one really true?

As usual, the answer is… it depends! On your circumstances, your income, your property ownership, and a whole host of other matters. We are by no means tax experts (though our marriage expertise is beyond reproach), but we’re going to do our best to shine a light on the question of getting married for tax purposes.

Here comes the bride!

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Your Girl is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old

Your Girl Is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 62 Comments

Earlier this month at the EconoMe Conference, I gave a speech where I revealed I was planning on retiring at 35 years old.

I practiced the speech many times, mostly in the sacred privacy of my shower. To be honest, I wasn’t happy with it! When I tried to talk about how and why I was going for such an early retirement age, I faltered, rambled, and went on weird tangents that had too many 1990s anime references (or not enough, depending on your perspective).

My youthful days as a theatre kid had imbued me with an unshakable certainty that there was no point in worrying about it. The show would go on. I would get up on the stage and say something, and people would clap politely when I was done. Because they always do that, even when you suck! Ah, the beauty of social contracts!

Surprisingly, the words flowed easiest when I was standing on a stage in front of a few hundred people. I could kinda see the faces of my audience through the haze of the UFO tractor beam lighting. I had the world’s best business partner on stage next to me; the front row was packed with wise and supportive personal finance industry mentors; and past them, a sea of faces belonging to people who intimately understood what I was there to say about financial freedom. Before the most welcoming and encouraging audience imaginable, my words came out effortlessly.

“Work sucks, and I hate it, so I’m not gonna do it anymore.”

I should’ve just said that and trusted this audience to fill my remaining 28 minutes with a standing ovation. Maybe wrap with some local jokes? “Thanks for attending my TedTalk. Go Cincinnati, um, Owlbears? No, no, that’s definitely a D&D monster, hold on… [checks notes] Bearcats! Go Bearcats!”

It’s true. If all goes as planned, I’m retiring at 35 years old this coming spring.

Here’s my story.

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Season 3, Episode 7: "I'm Finished With the Basic Shit. What're the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?"

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 3 Comments

When people ask us about the target demographic of Bitches Get Riches, we tell them “It’s for the children.” You can tell because of the G-rated content!

True, our readers-slash-listeners trend young and untested in the ways of the financial world. We wouldn’t have it any other way, of course, which is why so much of what we write concerns the problems of early-career personal finance.

But what about those who have “made it”—gotten through the lean years and succeeded financially? What do we have to say to the children once they grow up and leave the nest?

Getting to the advanced financial steps is harrrrrrd...

In today’s podcast episode, we’re talking about Advanced Financial Steps: the shit you want to get to, but can’t until you get through the boring slog of paying off debt and establishing a financial safety net for yourself.

To this end, we focus a lot on investing: investing in yourself, in your goals, in your community. We don’t simply mean stock market investing, or even financial investing. Treat those investments like the horcruxes they are and spread ’em around—diversify! (Just fulfilling our contractual obligation to include one Harry Potter reference per episode. Read the fine print.)

But how does one determine those post-making-it goals? How do you choose where to stash your horcruxes investments once you’ve joined the ranks of the rich? What’s the most effective way to spread the wealth and lift up those around you?

I wish I could say “all will be revealed in this week’s episode” but really, that’s a lofty fucking goal for a twenty-minute podcast by two day-drunk dumbasses with a microphone. So, uh… adjust your expectations accordingly!

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Antiwork Is the New American Dream

Antiwork Is the New American Dream

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 19 Comments

For the past few years, I’ve been a member of a subreddit called Antiwork (r/antiwork). I think I found my way there through r/PovertyFinance or r/LostGeneration, where I lurk, occasionally answering questions about surviving life in a capitalist hellscape. (Usually while on the toilet. Sorry, jut being real!)

Antiwork is a place for people to vent about their jobs, mostly through memes and frustrated rants. But instead of drawing individualistic conclusions (“this job sucks”), they take a more wholistic view. They view those negative experiences as evidence of a deeper and more systemic dysfunction of labor (“all work sucks”) that deserves serious discussion and commiseration.

The vibe is pessimistic, almost to the point of fatalism. The stories are depressing, petty, and brutal. Doesn’t sound like a fun place for people to spend social recreational time, does it? But oh, how it’s landed recently…!

I joined way back in 2018, when the subreddit had about 3,000 subscribers. Today, it has over a million—with more joining every day.

Its sudden popularity is making a lot of powerful people nervous, to which I say… AHAHAHAHA, GOOD!!

Antiwork's exponential growth.
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Season 3, Episode 6: “I’m Going Through a Long Hiring Process. Is It a Red Flag When an Employer Demands Too Many Interviews?”

Season 3, Episode 6: “I’m Going Through a Long Hiring Process. Is It a Red Flag When an Employer Demands Too Many Interviews?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 4 Comments

How many interviews is too many interviews? Y’all, it takes SO MUCH time and energy to look for a new job. You have to research, reach out, tweak resumes and cover letters—then redo all of your hard work in one of their useless clunky portals. That’s not even getting into the most emotionally draining tasks, like panicking about the “what are your salary expectations” question, evilly marked in red as a required field. Honestly, getting to the interview stage is a relief. It feels like the home stretch.

…Until there’s too many interviews.

You’ve done one, two, maybe three… And instead of a reaching out with an offer, they have the audacity ask for your availability to meet with a fourth, fifth, and sixth?!

What the hell is going on here? If they seem uncertain about hiring you, should you change your question-answering strategy? Or stay the course because, hey, you made it this far? Are too many interviews a red flag? Because while thoroughness is good, indecision is not! And plenty of smart people have walked away from a disgustingly long interview process.

Here it is. The episode you’ve all been waiting for—nay!—begging for. For this is the episode in which we reveal our preteen sexual awakenings. Completely unscripted and honest.

Naughty fantasy books from the library! Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing! And of course, there’s nothing like David Bowie in The Labyrinth to make heterosexuality seem so… possible???

What’s that? You literally did not ask? Not one of you? That can’t be right. ROLL THE TAPE.

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Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 1 Comment

“Do no harm” isn’t just for doctors anymore! When it comes to being a consumer, a member of society, we all should strive to do as little harm as possible. From reducing your carbon footprint to supporting ethical business and labor practices to eating environmentally sustainable food, the concept is generally known as “ethical consumption.” We cover some of these ideas here.

But what if we take it a step further? What if you incorporate ethics and doing-no-harm into every money decision you make in your life?

Well then, my Level 15 Social Justice Warrior, you’re talking about wallet activism.

Because I’ve recently developed an allergy to working too hard, I found an expert to explain the concept to y’all.

Wallet Activism: New book coming out next week

Enter Tanja Hester, author of the new book Wallet Activism: How to Use Every Dollar You Spend, Earn, and save as a Force for Change, out November 16th! Tanja’s magnum opus is packed with brain-changing information and actionable advice for using your money to make the world a better place.

Alert readers will recognize Tanja as the critically acclaimed (by us) genius behind the blog Our Next Life and her first book, Work Optional: Retire Early the Non-Penny-Pinching Way. Tanja spent 16 whole years as a consultant to Democratic politics and progressive cause campaigns, working on everything from renewable energy to healthcare for low-income families. Before that, she covered politics as a public radio journalist.

Tanja Hester, author of Wallet Activism and boss-ass bitch.
Tanja Hester, author of Wallet Activism and boss-ass bitch.

She’s been outspoken in personal finance media about the need to consider systemic barriers and opportunity gaps, rather than simply pushing already privileged people to accumulate more wealth. It’s part of why the New York Times called her “the matriarch of the women’s FIRE movement.”

In other words, her progressive activist bona fides are well in order. If anyone is going to out-social-justice-warrior me… it’s this bitch.

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Season 3, Episode 5: “I Really Hate One of My Tasks at Work. Is There a Way To Escape It Without Quitting My Job?”

Season 3, Episode 5: “I Really Hate One of My Tasks at Work. Is There a Way To Escape It Without Quitting My Job?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") Leave a comment

Collaborative problem-solving. Scalability. Solutions-based tactics. Results-oriented. Verticals. Delegating opportunities for growth. Synergy.

This is just a sampling of the corporate dialectic that inspired our answer to this week’s question on the podcast. Because sometimes, my friends, you have to fight fire with fire in the workplace. And by “fire” we mean “insufferable corporate bureaucracy.”

It’s ok, my sweet. We promise that by the end of the episode, you won’t hate yourself. Instead, you too will delight in using the tools of corporate assholery to dismantle the system and turn it in your favor!

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How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 32 Comments

A strange thing happens every time my income increases. My life magically gets… easier, better, and happier.

Getting my very first raise at work made it easier for me to pay off my student loans ahead of schedule. That meant the money I used to spend on student loans could instead be spent on making my life more comfortable. And that meant moving out of the house I rented with six roommates and finally buying decent food.

Getting a job that cut out my daily commute allowed me to spend more time doing things I love instead of impotently cursing the traffic. I could get drinks with friends after work, or go to the climbing gym, both of which cost money. Or, for free, I could stand by the highway yelling “SUCKERS!” at passing commuters at 5:30 p.m. every day!

And getting a new job at almost double my previous salary meant I could afford things I previously thought would take years of saving. Plane tickets to a friend’s destination wedding in Mexico. Drywall for my unfinished basement. Eating at a shmancy restaurant without checking the menu for prices.

If all of this sounds suspiciously like lifestyle inflation, that’s because it is! And yet I feel no guilt over inflating my lifestyle from time to time when my income significantly increases.

This is generally considered a cardinal sin of personal finance. It’s right up there with buying lattes or taking the name of Dave Ramsey in vain. So let’s unpack that.

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