It’s Pride Month! The most gayest time of the year! The month when corporations release rainbow-embossed merch and proclaim themselves Down With the Gayness. Yet here at Bitches Get Riches Incorporated, we’re not just LGBTQ+ community spokespeople… we’re also members!
And so it is with zero hypocrisy and a whole lot of enthusiasm that we come to you this week with a very special message. And that message is: personal finance media is gay as hell.
Hiya, Bitch Nation. Ducky here!
Kitty and Piggy are the best bosses I’ve ever had (and not just because I’m legally required to refer to said bosses as “the Bitches” in casual conversation). They are unquestionably brilliant, unfairly funny, and unbelievably supportive.
Both Kitty and Piggy have been through their share of burnout. And while I’ve been dealing with it due to the stress of one of my other jobs, they have been consistently by my metaphorical side, gleefully eating metaphorical popcorn, and providing invaluable, actionable advice.
There is no one better to have on your team when you’re considering questions like, “Am I experiencing burnout?” or “How much stress and toxicity in the workplace is too much?” or “If I follow Kitty’s advice and actually drop the line ‘It sounds like I’m not meeting your expectations as an employee—should we go ahead and set my last day?’ will I get fired on the spot?” (Spoiler alert: we were severely understaffed, so no!)
All of which is to say that after many years of putting their brilliance on the internet for free, the Bitches are offering their first ever course on the topic of burnout! It was, to quote Piggy, a labor of love… but a labor nonetheless. And to quote Kitty as her body broke down into its component parts upon completion of this project, “Oh god my spleen!” (probably).
In today’s special bonus episode of the BGR podcast, the Bitches walk you through a sneak peek of their new course. Listen here and on your favorite streaming platform, or scroll down for a transcript of the episode.
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Have you ever gotten yourself all hyped-up and battle-ready to ask for more money—only to learn your employer REFUSES to negotiate salary?
This happened to me when I was a young professional. I went for a role at a company that tied its job offers to intelligence test scores. (This is not a normal or cool thing to ask, by the way. It’s elitist, ableist, racist, irrelevant, and indicative of really bad leadership. Alas that I was young, dumb, and living on breadcrumb…s.) The recruiter warned me in advance that this employer refused to negotiate salary beyond their initial offer.
Now, the joke was on them! I’m one of those people who needs to make an L-shape with her fingers to tell left from right. And once hired, I’m about as biddable as Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron. But if you put a test in front of me, I’m gonna destroy it. So by their own stupid system, they were forced to offer me an absurdly high sum. My salary doubled overnight. Although I hated that job and left after six months, it was the best job transition I’ve ever made.
All of which is to say: if a potential employer refuses to negotiate salary, it doesn’t mean that their offer is bad. Internal policies far more benign than the one I just described dictate salary offers. Some employers have a strict system for salaries based on tenure, experience, performance, or job title. Others must adhere to government guidelines or union rules regarding fair salaries.
It also doesn’t mean that the conversation is over. You can ask for so much more than money! When an employer refuses to negotiate salary, they’re giving you leverage to ask for other things. Today, I’ll give you a few ideas for creative counteroffers that will make your life better and sweeten any job transition. Even better, I’ll suggest some simple scripts you can follow to maximize your chances that they’ll say “yes.”
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The topic of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) has been the perennial runner up in our Patreon polls for future article topics for years. They’ve been edged out at least four times by sexier, more topical topics. But today they’re finally getting their place squarely in the middle of the sunbeam that is my attention!
Much like Piggy and I, NDAs have been running amok for about thirty-five years, getting stronger and more belligerent all the time. But unlike us, it seems they’ve peaked.
Within the last six months, three major changes have drastically reduced the enforceability of predatory NDAs.
These changes provide general protection to all impacted employees, and specific protections for victims of sexual harassment. With this, it seems the power and popularity of predatory NDAs is finally waning. And workers are gaining back ground they never should’ve lost.
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Hello and welcome to another edition of Using Only Gifs, Let’s Get a Song Stuck In Your Head!
Just kidding. It’s actually an episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast! But while brainstorming titles for this episode, I got ABBA stuck in my head. And misery loves company, soooo…
Bitchlings, we love talking about career transitions. It’s always so magical and rewarding when it happens! My own career transition was an agonizing decision and process that actually resulted in one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. So we’re thrilled to impart some of that wisdom to our question asker this week.
Is that wisdom to in fact sing ABBA at new employers until they take a chance on you? BITCH, IT MIGHT BE. Watch the episode to find out.
Do not adjust your speakers. This week’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast does indeed start with chicken noises and saxophone mouth sounds. And we’re not even sorry.
Today we’re discussing a very good problem to have. What do you do with yourself once you’ve successfully aced your job and you’re out of challenges at work? Do you stick around, resting on your laurels? Or will that stagnate your career progress and turn your mind slowly into mush?
Anyone who’s stuck around here for long knows our thoughts on the matter. And they’re definitely more DTMFA than have-a-nice-cold-pint-and-wait-for-this-all-to-blow-over.
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I awoke last night in a cold sweat, gripped with the sudden realization that I have an incredibly comprehensive resignation checklist… and I’ve been selfishly sitting on it, to the detriment of the millions of Americans who’ve walked away from their jobs in recent months.
I recognize that this constitutes a top ten anime betrayal.
許してくれ。
The thing is… I’ve been daydreaming about leaving my job for years. These plans have been a part of me for so long that I kinda forgot they were plans at all. Like, I don’t necessarily notice my own breathing, stretching, or constructing elaborate fantasies about leaving corporate America forever.
Planning to quit ahead of time is a great advantage, and not everyone gets it. In most states, people can be fired suddenly, for no reason. Other people need to leave their job abruptly because of absolutely untenable issues like workplace safety or harassment. Those people do not have the luxury of planning a soft landing for themselves.
But if you’re planning to quit voluntarily, you can do what they cannot. You can be strategic. Y’know, like Light Yagami eating potato chips! And in doing so, you can extract a ton of value back from your employer and/or your government before you go.
I’m down to just one month at my job, and I’m systematically going through this list. It will save me thousands of dollars. It will also prevent a lot of logistical headaches for my future self. Because I wanna set her up with a low stress post-job lifestyle. Listening to the hold music for the COBRA continuation assistance hotline is not on my retirement vision board!
Here’s my ultimate resignation checklist…
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Today we’re answering a question from a Patreon donor about unvested funds.
And if you hear the phrase “unvested funds” and picture a pile of money dressed like Aladdin minus the purple vest, it’s okay! THAT IS ALSO HOW MY BRAIN BE! You are safe here.
Basically, Patron Leah is stuck working for an employer who’s promised her financial compensation. But later. Like, years later. And since she doesn’t like her job, she’s got to weigh whether it’s smarter to walk away now, or stick it out until she gets the money she deserves.
This is an unexpectedly tricky question. There’s a financially “right” thing to do, and an emotionally “right” thing to do—and they do not agree with each other at all. TYPICAL.
But rest assured, I’ve got strong opinions and I’m here to use ’em! So let’s get into it.
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One of my favorite blogs, the ever brilliant Nonprofit As Fuck, has this great piece titled “When You Don’t Disclose Salary Range on a Job Posting, a Unicorn Loses Its Wings.” It’s a snarky, 100% accurate treatise on the evils of not including a salary range in the job description.
When I read it I felt like Bono listening to Hozier’s Take Me to Church for the first time: furiously jealous that I hadn’t written it myself.
Salary transparency in the hiring process has become my sacred battleground. Few things get this money nerd’s hackles up like the unfair, unethical, and straight up bullshit practice of salary secrecy. This righteous fury is bursting out of me and it can no longer be contained!
Because let’s be honest: no one gets a job because they’re enthusiastic about the contents of the company’s vending machine or the color of its cubicle walls. We work jobs for the compensation. We work to earn an income that will support ourselves and our families. Money, health insurance, retirement funds… all of this is far more important to a job candidate than anything else an employer has to say in the job description.
Job candidates want to know they can afford to work a job before they apply. They don’t want to wait through two interviews and a job offer to find out if the compensation will pay their rent and student loans. To pretend otherwise is ludicrous, irresponsible, naïve, and insulting.
So put a salary range in the job description, you fucking cowards.
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Take a break from seasonally enforced socializing with distant relatives and gather round, ye lads and lasses! For it’s time for another episode of the award-winning* Bitches Get Riches podcast.
Today we’re speaking directly to our spiritual Rodney Dangerfields out there: those who can’t get no respect in their personal and professional lives. Whether it’s because they look young, or femme, or differently abled in some way, a lot of people are either disrespected or infantilized because of their appearance or mannerisms. Regardless of their skills, educational attainment, or personality. And that sucks.
Today’s question-asker is dealing with this infantilization and lack of respect, and we suspect it’s due to the unconscious bias of those around them. Can we solve as big an issue as unconscious bias in a single 20-minute podcast episode? We’re sure as hell gonna try!
*As unbelievable as it sounds, we have it on good authority that the judges were neither bribed nor drunk.
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